How To Ask For a Letter Of Recommendation

Introduction.

When it comes to landing a job, getting into a dream school, or applying for a scholarship, a good letter of recommendation can make all the difference. It’s one of those things that can set you apart from others with similar qualifications.

But asking someone to write one can feel a bit nerve-wracking. What do you say? How do you make sure the letter is strong and reflects your abilities?

This guide will walk you through how to ask for a letter of recommendation in a way that’s respectful, and clear, and increases your chances of getting a great one.

Why Letters of Recommendation Matter

A letter of recommendation is more than just a formal requirement—it’s a personal endorsement from someone who knows you well.

It adds a human touch to your application by showing how your skills, character, and work ethic have made an impression on others.

Whether you’re applying to graduate school, a competitive program, or a new job, these letters give decision-makers a closer look at who you are beyond grades, resumes, and cover letters.

Employers and admissions committees value these letters because they provide insight into your teamwork, leadership, and problem-solving abilities—qualities that can’t always be captured in numbers or bullet points.

How to Choose the Right Person to Ask

The first step to getting a strong letter of recommendation is choosing the right person to write it. Think about people who can speak to your skills and achievements in a meaningful way. This could be a professor, manager, supervisor, mentor, or coach. Here are a few tips:

• Go for someone who knows you well. A generic letter isn’t as impactful as one that highlights specific examples of your work or character. Someone who’s seen your growth and accomplishments firsthand is ideal.
• Pick someone relevant to your goals. If you’re applying for a job in marketing, ask a supervisor from a marketing internship, not your high school math teacher.
• Think about their writing skills. Choose someone who’s likely to write a polished and professional letter.
• Make sure they’re enthusiastic. A lukewarm recommendation can do more harm than good, so make sure the person you’re asking genuinely supports your goals.

When to Ask for a Letter of Recommendation

Timing matters. You don’t want to rush the person writing your letter, so give them plenty of notice. Ideally, ask at least 3-4 weeks before the deadline. This gives them time to craft a thoughtful and detailed letter.

If you’re working with tight deadlines, be upfront about it. Just remember that a rushed letter might not be as strong.

How Do I Ask for a Letter of Recommendation?

Now for the tricky part—actually asking. Here’s how to make your request in a way that’s polite and professional:

1. Start with a friendly greeting.

Whether you’re asking in person or over email, begin with a warm hello and check in on how they’re doing.

2. Explain why you’re asking them.

Let them know why you value their perspective and why you think they’re the right person to write the letter.

For example: “I really appreciated your guidance during my internship, and I think you’ve seen how much I’ve grown in [specific skill or project].”

3. Be clear about what you need.

Mention what the letter is for, the deadline, and any specific points you’d like them to cover. For instance: “The application asks for a recommendation that highlights my teamwork and leadership skills, and I immediately thought of the project we worked on together last year.”

4. Make it easy for them.

Offer to provide your resume, a list of accomplishments, or details about the program/job you’re applying for. This helps them write a more targeted and effective letter.

5. Give them an out.

It’s important to give the person a chance to decline gracefully if they don’t feel they can write you a strong letter. You might say: “If you’re not comfortable or don’t have the time, I completely understand.”

Here’s an example email you can use:

Hi [Name],

I hope you’re doing well! I’m reaching out to ask if you’d be willing to write me a letter of recommendation for [specific opportunity, e.g., a graduate program in biology].

Working with you on [specific project or role] had such a big impact on me, and I think you’re in a great position to speak to [specific skills or qualities].

The deadline for the letter is [date], and I’d be happy to provide any materials that might help, like my resume or details about the program.

If you’re unable to do this for any reason, I understand. Please let me know if you have any questions!

Thanks so much for considering this. I appreciate your support.

Best,
[Your Name]

Once someone says yes, make sure to follow up with the details they’ll need to write a strong letter. This might include:

• Your resume or CV
• A list of your accomplishments
• Details about the opportunity you’re applying for
• Specific qualities or experiences you’d like them to highlight
• Instructions for submitting the letter (e.g., an online portal or mailing address)

Check in politely a week or so before the deadline to make sure they’re on track. A gentle reminder can go a long way.

After the Letter Is Sent

Once the letter is submitted, don’t forget to say thank you! A handwritten note or a thoughtful email is a great way to show your appreciation.

You might also want to let them know the outcome of your application—it’s a nice way to close the loop and keep in touch.

FAQs

1. What if I don’t have anyone to ask?

If you’re struggling to find someone, think about past professors, internship supervisors, or even volunteer coordinators. If you’re currently employed, a manager or team lead might be able to help.

2. Can I ask a family member or friend?

It’s generally not a good idea. Letters of recommendation are more credible when they come from a professional or academic connection.

3. How many letters do I need?

This depends on the application. Some require one; others ask for two or three. Be sure to check the requirements carefully.

4. What if someone says no?

Don’t take it personally. They might be too busy or feel they can’t write you a strong letter. Thank them for their honesty and move on to the next person on your list.

Conclusion

Asking for a letter of recommendation doesn’t have to be stressful. With the right approach, you can make the process smooth and even build stronger connections with those who support you. Remember to be polite, clear, and organized—and always show your gratitude.

Who would you ask for a letter of recommendation, and what qualities would you want them to highlight about you?